The Dog Named Kujo
by litoblueanjel
Summary: Okay, I suck at summaries, but anyways, Selphie and Rinoa are on a picnic and...well things go pretty much downhill from there....


A Dog Named Kujo   
  
DisClaimer: I don't own the Final Fantasy 8 characters or this story. The characters belong to SquareSoft, the lucky ppl, and this story belongs to Andrea, who is majorly amusing. Nothing is mine except the side comments!  
  
A/N: Okay, first of all, this isn't my story...it's my friend's. She is QUITE the story teller ::coughs loudly::. Anyways, please review and if you do flame, be gentle...  
  
  
Selphie and Rinoa are sitting and eating apples in a park under a nice tree. They have a picnic basket and a nice red and white checkered blanket.   
  
Rinoa: Isn't this peaceful, Selphie?   
  
Selphie: What? (looks at Rinoa in confusion)   
  
Rinoa: I said, isn't this peaceful?   
  
Selphie: Oh, yeah, I guess...(daydreams and hums romantic tune)   
  
Rinoa: You're not as hyper and excited as you usual are...   
  
Selphie: Yeah...isn't love swell...   
  
Rinoa: (stands up and takes Selphie's arm) Come on, we need to find you some medication.   
  
Selphie: (is jerked in conciousness) Hey, lemme go! I am fine, really... (stands up) Let's just go to the movies or something...   
  
Rinoa: OK, but first...(wraps up picnic basket in blanket and throws it in garbage) Now we can go!   
  
Selphie: (gasps) (points) Oh my gosh, there he is!!!!   
  
Rinoa: (turns to see Squall and Zell walking towards the water fountain) (gives Selphie skeptical look) You think one of THEM is hot? (gags)   
  
Selphie: (shakes head) No, behind them!   
  
Rinoa: (turns head again only to find walking behind Squall and Zell is Irvine) No way! (turns again to look at Selphie) You suck!   
  
Selphie: (shakes head again) No, behind him!   
  
Rinoa: (turns again to see Squall, Zell, Irvine, and behind Irvine walks Laguna) Laguna?? You think Laguna is cute? My goodness, Selphie.   
  
Selphie: (shakes head furiously) No! Behind him!   
  
Rinoa: (looks again) (neck hurts from looking back and forth) Who?? Seifer? You think Seifer is cute?   
  
Selphie: No, behind him!!!!   
  
Rinoa: (pouts) I don't see anybody!! MEANIE!! Stop teasing me!!   
  
Selphie: (whistles) Here boy!! (slaps hands on thighs) Here Kujo! Here boy!   
  
(German Sheperd dog runs up)   
  
Selphie: (squeals and cooes) Ooooooooo, Kujo, who's a good boy? (strokes Kujo)   
  
Rinoa: (jaw drops) What the.....   
  
Selphie: Don't you think he's is the cutest sweetest most adorablest....(uses baby voice) aww......you know that you're a good boy...you're a good boy....you're a good boy!   
  
Rinoa: Uhhh....ooooooookay......   
  
Selphie: (kisses Kujo on his head) Aw....you're such a GOOD BOY!   
  
Rinoa: (calls to Squall and Zell) Hey, guys!   
  
Squall: (comes over) Ooo, Rinoa, is that Angelo?   
  
Zell: Aw...a little baby poochi!! (kneels down and strokes Kujo)   
  
Rinoa: No, that's Selphie's dog, K-...Kojak....or Kujo, or something.   
  
Zell: Hey guys, I ...I think he likes me! (reaches over to stroke Kujo again)   
  
Kujo: Rrr...rRRRROOArrrRROOARRRRwwwarRRR!!!! (snaps and bites Zell)   
  
Zell: AHHHH!!!! MY HAND!!!! (runs around in circles - blood splatters everywhere)   
  
Selphie: (gasps) Don't poison my doggy woggy, Zell!!! (hugs Kujo tightly)   
  
Squall: (laughing very hard) Your doggy woggy just made Zell get an owie wowie.   
  
Rinoa: (cracking up) Hahaha, Zell, you are SO not a dog person! Hahaha!   
  
Zell: (screaming in pain) Ahhhhh!!!! I have a booboo! (A/N: Aww....)  
  
Selphie: (holds Zells hand and looks at it) Hmmm.....I bet some lemonade would do the trick!! (takes pitcher of lemonade)   
  
Zell: (eyes grow wide in fear) N-n-nooo!! Selphie, don't!! (tries to pull back hand)   
  
Selphie: (dumps pitcher on Zell's hand) There you go! (turns towards Squall and Rinoa) Now, the lemonade will distract the pain that Zell is facing in his hand now. Also, the stinging sensation will cause Zell's hand to go numb.   
  
Zell: (while Selphie is talking) AHHHH!!!! (runs back and forth) AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Squall: Ooooook...   
  
Rinoa: ...Is that healthy?   
  
Selphie: Hahaha...who cares?   
  
Squall: Hmmmm...(walks to where Zell is screaming) (sticks out foot while Zell is running past) Happy landings, Zell!   
  
Zell: AHHHH!!! (trips and lands on hand) OoOoOoOowwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Rinoa: Well, Squall is going to give me a ride home in his brand spanking new Ferrari! *hinthint*   
  
Squall: (raises eyebrows) Speaking of spanking....(purrs) RrrrrrRRrrr (A/N: DON'T ASK)  
  
Rinoa: (runs to him and both walk to his car) Bye Selphie!   
  
Selphie: Bye! (looks at Zell) Now what am I going to do with you??   
  
Zell: Call an ambulance, maybe?   
  
Selphie: (whips out cell fone) (dials 911) Hello? Yes my friend is hurt, please send an ambulance. Thanks bye! (puts cell fone away) There you go!   
  
Zell: Whoa, they're fast!!!!   
  
Fujin: (walks up in paramedics uinform) BLOOD!   
  
Raijin: (also walks up in paramedics uniform) Whoa, your hand is nasty, ya know?   
  
Zell: Yeah, I know, and it really hurts!   
  
Selphie: (eyes Fujin angrily) Yuk! It's you!   
  
Fujin: DIE!   
  
Raijin: That's harsh, ya know?   
  
Selphie: (takes out nunchakus wearily) You wanna make something of it, Fujin?   
  
Fujin: FIGHT!   
  
Raijin: That's not nice, ya know.   
  
Zell: Helloooo, I am in need of some assistance!!!! (hand starts to shrivel up)   
  
Selphie: (charges at Fujin) AHHH!!!!! (swings nunchakus)   
  
Fujin: CHARGE! (runs to Selphie holding hyperdermic needle) (squirts a little from tip)   
  
Raijin: Whoa, Fuj, be careful with that stuff, ya know? You could kill Selphie, ya know?   
  
Fujin: KILL!   
  
Zell: My hand is still in pain!!!   
  
Selphie: WaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiCHAAAA!!!! (swings nunchakus and wraps them around Fujin's wrist)   
  
Fujin: TWIST! (jumps and spins in midair) (lands and thrusts hyperdermic needle in Selphie's arm) STING!   
  
Selphie: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! (backs up and drops nunchakus)   
  
Raijin: Whoa, Fujin, you just stopped someone's life, ya know?   
  
Fujin: WIN! (points to Selphie) LOSE!   
  
Zell: (runs to Selphie who is sitting on knees, cradling arm) Selphie!!!!!! Are you okay???   
  
Selphie: (eyes water but she smiles sadly nontheless) Oh Zell...I'm sorry that Kujo bit....bit (eyes gleam and she looks at Kujo) (whistles) Kujo!!!!   
  
Kujo: (runs to Selpie) Reeww?   
  
Selphie: (pets Kujo with uninjured arm) Kill that girl over there, okay, Kooji? (A/N: Ain't dat a cute nickname?)  
  
Kujo: Rreww! (charges at Fujin) RREERRRWWW! ROARRRRARHHRA!   
  
Fujin: DOGGY!! (turns to run but is pushed down by Kujo)   
  
(suddenly news crew appears with Quistis as the reporter standing in fornt of group)   
  
Quistis: And we're here live, with another savage dog slash hyperdermic needle attack! Let's go to the scene of the crime. Quistis? (runs to Fujin's side where dog is savagely ripping into her)(pants) Yes, Quistis, this is a sad site indeed. (gives sad look to Fujin) Any last words, Fujin?   
  
Fujin: PAIN!! (is killed by Kujo)   
  
Quistis: And there you have it! (stands and walks slightly towards camera while talking) Two girls dead, one boy found alive, and a man who we will never, never understand. Back to you, Quistis!   
  
Quistis: (runs back to regular position) (pants) Thank you, Quistis..(pants) And that's it for our show!!!!   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
A/N: Okay, for those of you going "What THE F*CK?!" about the news part, Quistis is the anchor woman, AND the live reporter, so she's running back and forth a lot. Now, that we've settled that, ::big pleading brown eyes:: PLEASE R & R!!!!!!! 


End file.
